why me?

"The power of the One who raised Jesus from the dead is living in us, and as a result we have no need to muster up our own might. Our great need is to fall before an almighty Father day and night and to plead for Him to show His radical power in and through us, enabling us to accomplish for His glory what we could never imagine in our own strength. And when we do this, we will discover that we were created for a purpose much greater than ourselves, the kind of purpose that can only be accomplished in the power of His Spirit."


I have found myself asking this question a lot within the past few weeks, especially in preparation for Bangladesh. 


Why me?


I can't seem to figure out why in the world He would choose me to serve Him across the world this summer. I'm a filthy sinner. I struggle to stay focused on Him throughout the craziness of life, and a lot of the time I fail miserably. Yet He continues to love me. He continues to forgive me. He continues to equip me for the furtherance of His kingdom.


But why? Grace. That's why.


For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. 
Ephesians 2:8-9


"But that gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart. New desires. New longings. For the first time, we want God. We see our need for Him, and we love Him. We seek after Him, and we find Him, and we discover that He is indeed the great reward of our salvation. We realize that we are saved not just to be forgiven of our sin or to be assured of our eternity in heaven, but we are saved to know God. So we yearn for Him. We want Him so much that we abandon everything else to experience Him. This is the only proper response to the revelation of God in the gospel."


I am here to make much of Him and His glory. 


"God blesses His people with extravagant grace so they might extend His extravagant glory to all the peoples on the earth."


So despite my flaws, I will continue to serve Him with all that I am. I will strive to live my life radically abandoned to Him. And I will go boldly where He has commanded me to go. Will it be easy? HECK NO. But will it be worth it? You better believe it.